1. BREAKOUT: Escaping the Prison of Toxic Passions
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1. BREAKOUT: Escaping the Prison of Toxic Passions

I share my experiences from Rwanda in 1994. These “lessons learnt from ground zero” highlight what can happen when the internal moral compass fails.
Note! The following contains a description of a genocide and can be quite disturbing.

A Terrifying Sight

What is the worst possible consequence of polarisation? Once, a long time ago, I saw it with my own eyes.


In the first chapter of my book, Adventures and Reflections, I recount the experiences I had while travelling in Rwanda during the genocide of 1994. I describe a journey with a rebel officer who showed a place where people had been killed. Walking among the corpses is a harrowing experience, I can assure you. 


The chapter ends with a reflection on God, evil and the meaning of life.


I Visit a Prison and Meet the Killers

In the second chapter of the book, I recount my visit to a Rwandan prison, where the prisoners guilty of the atrocities were held. It was two years after the genocide. The prison was absolutely overcrowded, with many more prisoners than it was built to hold.

One of them showed me around and I spoke to some of them. To my surprise, they were quite friendly. In the prison yard I saw a group of prisoners singing while one of them conducted. After a while I realised that it was the church choir rehearsing for the Sunday Mass.


This puzzled me. Were these really the men who had committed such terrible atrocities? Why were they such easy prey to evil?

 

The Path to The Dark Side

A Rwandan man who had participated in the killings, but felt deep remorse, said in a newspaper interview: "You were praised and respected when you killed Tutsis. You were proud. We were all brainwashed to think that if we didn’t kill the Tutsis, they would kill us."

Footnote➔ 

Flattery and fear, in other words. Without an inner defence against toxic passions, something begins to break. Integrity cracks – and the soul goes up for sale. Clever demagogues and agitators seize the opportunity to manipulate and control. They have no use for qualities such as compassion and good judgment.


Compass pointing to Fear and Flattery, and not Compassion and Wisdom.

Fear and flattery can disrupt the inner compass and lead us in the wrong direction. I can only speculate about what the prisoners thought and believed, but I suspect that they were never taught that this is 'the path to the dark side'. Fear, anger, hatred, suffering – at some point you have to be able to break the chain of evil. Isn't that what the churches should be teaching young people?


The visit to the prison astonished me. How could such seemingly nice and kind people become so cruel and brutal in certain situations? Was this a collection of extremely sick individuals? Or were they human beings, not very different from us?


I think they are more like us than we would like to admit. The problem of fear, anger and hatred concerns us too. Who is completely immune to the great driving force of evil – the intoxicating sense of power? Does anyone have an inner compass that works perfectly?


A misaligned compass can create hell on earth and lead to a spiritual prison. We need to be guided more by wisdom and compassion. Not only the body but also the soul needs medicine and exercise. Everyone needs to build inner health and resilience.


What makes us human?

A man feeds a dog.

There is a fundamental difference between training an animal – like a dog – and nurturing the growth of a human being. A dog may be unruly at first, but with rewards and punishment, it can be moulded into well-behaved conduct. It learns to wag its tail at familiar faces and to bark at strangers.


Unlike animals, human beings are capable of moral development – shaped by reason and compassion rather than by rewards and punishments. Integrity cannot be imposed from without; it must be nurtured from within.


But what happens if we raise a child as if it were a dog? At best, the child may become well-behaved – but without a genuine sense of right and wrong. It may learn to “bark” at strangers simply because they are different. It will lack an inner moral compass.


Good and Evil

Is the struggle between good and evil an external or internal conflict? The frightening reality is that charismatic psychopaths can rise to become leaders of nations. These individuals believe that might is right and they can seduce millions of people into blindly following them. Hitler is a case in point. When this happens, there is an external conflict. Then we must resist firmly, resolutely and fearlessly.


But if we see the drama of the world only as a struggle between ‘us’ and ‘them’ – us who are good against them who are evil – we walk on a dangerous path. When we think we are morally superior to other people, we may feel entitled to humiliate them and put them down. If we call others ‘monsters’, we risk becoming ‘monsters’ ourselves. We can become so blind that we do not see the contradiction. That is when we lose our moral compass.


The battle between good and evil is not only something that happens out there, in the world, or between nations. It is something that plays out inside each of us.


The ancient Greek thinkers encouraged self-reflection. ‘Know thyself’, they said. Socrates' believed that a life without self-reflection – an "unexamined life" – has no meaning. This is essential for us to grow and develop as human beings.


Many churches dedicate a part of the mass to self-reflection and confession. They believe that divine love frees us from fear and reduces the need for false defences and excuses. This makes it easier to recognise and deal with our own dark sides. Self-awareness is key to avoiding moral blindness.


These two traditions are commonly symbolised by 'Athens' and 'Jerusalem'. Athens represents philosophy, reason, education and research. Jerusalem stands for faith, spirituality, divinity and hope. This is the good alliance that we need to rediscover and revive. 


Feel free to quote content from this page — just remember to credit me (Erik Pleijel) and include this link back here.

© 2026 Erik Pleijel · Content on this site is licensed under Creative Commons BY-NC-SA 4.0 .
Illustrations: Cartoon priest – © Brad Fitzpatrick; Cartoon sloth – FriendlyStock; Aristotle – Kaio hfd, CC BY-SA 3.0; public domain images sourced from Wikimedia Commons, for example: Cicero statue; illustrations by Erik Pleijel – released under CC0 1.0 Universal (Public Domain Dedication)
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