Contents

1. Lessons From Ground Zero

2. Beware of Controlling Religion

3. Take the Leap of Faith

4. Manage Pleasant but Toxic Emotions

5. Have the Courage to Admit Mistakes

6. Explore the World and Broaden Your Horizons

7. Develop a Healthy Inner Strength

8. Develop the Capacity to Integrate

9. Develop Practical Wisdom

10. Embrace the Mystery Beyond the Reach of Reason

11. Discover a Classic Antidote to Fascism

No stress!

1. Lessons From Ground Zero

What is the worst possible consequence of polarisation? Once, a long time ago, I saw it with my own eyes.

Note! This is about a genocide and can be quite upsetting!

A Terrifying Sight

In the first chapter of my book, Adventures and Reflections, I recount the experiences I had while travelling in Rwanda during the genocide of 1994. I describe a journey with a rebel officer who took me to a place where people had been massacred. Walking among the corpses is a harrowing experience, I can assure you. From the chapter:

The chapter ends with a reflection on God, evil and the meaning of life.

I Visit a Prison and Meet the Killers

This puzzled me. Were these really the men who had committed such terrible atrocities? Why were they such easy prey to evil?

The Path to The Dark Side

A Rwandan man who had participated in the killings, but felt deep remorse, said in a newspaper interview: "You were praised and respected when you killed Tutsis. You were proud. We were all brainwashed to think that if we didn’t kill the Tutsis, they would kill us."

Flattery and fear, in other words. Clever demagogues and agitators want people to be easily frightened and easily controlled. That makes them easy to manipulate. They play on people’s great weaknesses: fear and vanity. They have no use for qualities such as compassion and good judgement.

Fear and flattery are the fuel of polarisation. It is something that disturbs the inner compass. I can only speculate about what the prisoners thought and believed, but I suspect that they were never taught that ‘fear is the path to the dark side’ and that ‘fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering’.

The Problem Concerns Us All

Fear, anger, hatred, suffering – you have to be able to break the chain of evil at some point. The visit to the prison astonished me. How could such seemingly nice and kind people become so cruel and brutal in certain situations?

Was this a collection of extremely sick individuals? Or were they human beings, not very different from us?

I think they are more like us than we would like to admit. The problem of fear, anger and hatred concerns us too. We all need to develop an inner defence against the ”dark side”. Who is completely immune to the great driving force of evil – the intoxicating sense of power? Does anyone have an inner compass that works perfectly?

It is easy to be seduced by toxic emotions and do bad things. We need to be guided more by wisdom and compassion. Not only the body but also the soul needs medicine and exercise. Everyone needs to build inner health and strength.

A misaligned inner compass can create hell on earth and lead to a spiritual prison. We need to find the key to freedom.

In what follows, we'll see how we can use the spiritual resources of Jerusalem and Athens to tackle the problem. The final chapter presents an old idea that is both powerful and valuable. Today it has almost been crushed by a popular idea that is also powerful, but deeply destructive.

2. Beware of Controlling Religion

Doing Business with Higher Powers

Let’s start by looking at what is the exact opposite of trusting faith. Plato’s interesting and entertaining dialogue Euthyphro can shed some light on this.

In this dialogue, Socrates was talking to Euthyphro, who considered himself an expert on divine matters. Socrates was curious about his theological knowledge and asked what true piety and godliness really were.

Euthyphro replied in a way that showed he’d probably never thought about it before. But after some discussion it became clear what he really believed: Piety is doing business with the gods, receiving rewards and favours for sacrifice and worship. By pleasing them, you can bring happiness and prosperity to your family and your city.

Socrates asked him to explain why these actions pleased them, but he couldn’t really answer. What the gods want and desire is by definition good and not something that man needs to explain or understand, he seemed to think. They are the ones in power, so you just have to obey their commands.

Socrates didn’t like that and thought Euthyphro was lazy. It was this kind of might-is-right philosophy that he argued against in the dialogues. He wanted to understand what is right and true through dialogue and reasoning. 

A Revolution

Euthyphro believed in many gods, but even those who believe in one God can make similar mistakes. Many believe that it is possible to make a ”contract” or ”deal” with God. They use their faith to buy favours. Quid pro quo: Right faith is rewarded with earthly and eternal happiness.

The image of God is somewhat reminiscent of the mafia godfather, who gives protection and privileges to those who are faithful and pay. This is hardly something that improves inner health!

One of the most valuable and liberating insights of the Protestant Reformation is that we need to abandon any idea of a contract with God. This is what faith in grace is all about. God’s love is not transactional.

This is the first step towards what could be called a ‘Copernican revolution’.

Trusting faith creates a new centre that makes it easier to challenge your self-centred ways of thinking.

Bad Religion Is Based on Unsound Motives

According to the tradition of the Reformation, it is impossible for man to save himself. This is sound medicine against bad religion and the idea that God’s favour can be bought.

Unhealthy religion exploits man’s great weaknesses: fear and vanity. One thing that is directly harmful is the use of scare tactics. Some feel the need to threaten people in order to increase the sense of urgency and seriousness. In order to be saved and avoid punishment, they claim, it is necessary to confess one’s sin and repent.

This is presented as a free choice, but in reality it is an ”offer at gunpoint”: Ask for mercy or die!

Can confessions under threat be genuine and credible? Isn’t there a danger of inflating one’s sin and guilt and confessing all sorts of things out of sheer fear?

Threats of this kind arouse the instinct for self-preservation and not the capacity for self-knowledge.

What is also unhealthy are various forms of self-salvation. We can imagine a person who thinks that he must be generous and do good deeds, such as giving money to charity. But at some point he begins to think about his motives. Is he really unselfish? Or is he doing good just to be admired?

Perhaps feelings of self-righteousness are inappropriate if you want to please the Almighty. He realises that he must sacrifice his pride instead.

So he denies himself and confesses that he is full of sin and selfishness. He claims that all his efforts are in vain and that he deserves nothing. He sacrifices his pride and compares his own smallness with God’s greatness. He gives God the credit for recognising his weakness, for he can do nothing on his own.

But no matter how hard he tries to humble himself, he cannot quite get rid of his pride. Does he want God to admire him for his humility? What if he feels contempt for all those who have not humbled themselves in the same way? And what if he uses the call to humility to put people down and put them in their place? All this may only make him more self-satisfied and self-absorbed.

The Desire for Control

Some people believe that salvation is based on a ”do X and you will be saved” kind of deal. But you can never know if you are doing X with sufficient sincerity, passion and intensity.

Others interpret the deal as ”admit you are completely helpless and you will receive grace”. This can create a kind of reverse performance anxiety. You have to constantly show that you are small and weak. How much self-loathing is enough? You never know!

In any case, it is man who wants to be in control. It is he who wants to be able to make demands on God, who has to fulfil his part of the bargain.

Those who believe they have failed become anxious and fearful. Those who believe they have succeeded become complacent and self-righteous – and fearful of losing control.

”It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God,” said Jesus. It is hardly easier for those who think they have a deal with God. They find it hard to let go of their fantasies of privilege and entitlement.
When Jesus’ disciples realised how difficult it was, they were terrified. ”Who then can be saved?” they asked. ”Jesus looked at them and said, ‘For men it is impossible, but not for God. For with God all things are possible.’”

3. Take the Leap of Faith

A Spiritual Antidote

Many people believe in God because he has power and can bring happiness and success. They say they love him, but in reality they love the benefits. And the power!

The symbols and mysteries of Christianity may seem strange and ancient, but when you interpret them you realise that they are a kind of spiritual antidote: God is not somewhere far away, watching the misery of the world. Through Christ he comes down to our earthly and human level. The Cross means that he suffers with his creation. The Resurrection means that he still loves it and that he wants to forgive. He does not destroy his enemies with fire and brimstone, but overcomes the desire for revenge.

This is something that has influenced our entire culture. (For example, read Dominion: How the Christian Revolution Remade the World, by Tom Holland.) Faith in the Cross is a cure for the contempt of weakness. Before Christ, the Cross was nothing more than a brutal instrument of execution and power; after Christ, it became the symbol of God’s compassion for the powerless.

This story creates change in everyone who believes and understands it. Power and the exercise of power cease to fascinate. The worship of God is not the same as the worship of power. What is truly divine is unconditional love.

The Choice Between Control and Trust

In the light of this, it becomes clear how naive it is to use faith as a lever to get hold of God. There is an enormous difference between these two statements:

• ”My faith in Christ entitles me to a place in paradise”.

• ”The message of Christ gives me the courage to trust that God is good”.

Is salvation within or beyond human control?

If we want to feel in control, we must be firmly convinced that we have the right theology and the right piety. This creates an enormous fear of being wrong. The result is a strong belief in one’s own infallibility.

But when everything is out of our control, there is nothing to do but trust in God Himself.

The Leap of Faith

According to the tradition of the Reformation, any attempt to bribe God is futile. The belief that you can control your own destiny is an illusion. This is actually a happy message. We do not need to believe out of fear, vanity or the need to control. Instead, it opens the way for a voluntary faith that touches us in the right way.

Reverend Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote:

This exercise in trust makes some people nervous and confused. They think, ”Surely there must be something you can point out to show that you are not on the same level as the unbelievers? Otherwise, you are just like everyone else! And isn’t it risky to be totally dependent on God’s will? Then you have no control at all!”

Why this need to compare your faith with others? Why this desire to make grace a right? If you don’t want to let go, the adventure can never begin.

Faith is not a magic formula that makes God kind and friendly. Nor is faith about reaching a certain state of mind to get a ticket to heaven. Faith is about throwing yourself into God’s arms and trusting that he is good and wants to help you. Only then is it possible to focus on what really matters. And only then is it possible to take God and the Christian faith really seriously.

A New Project

For some, it is more logical that having the right faith should pay off. They believe in Jesus in order to receive certain exclusive benefits. ”What else is the point of being a Christian?” they ask.

Isn’t it better to follow him because you really want to? True faith is voluntary and needs no reward. Rewards and punishments can be used to train animals. A human being should develop in a different way: as a free and responsible person with inner integrity.

The most important things in life are compassion, good judgement, insight, humility, truthfulness, responsibility and integrity, etc. These things cannot be bought or forced. They can only be cultivated in a free relationship. This can become a reality when we believe that God’s love is a care for the health of the soul.

God and man are united in a common project – this is the meaning of the expression ”following Christ”.

Discipleship

To call yourself a Christian requires only two things: to be baptised and to follow a young man who walked on earth two thousand years ago. Some of what he said and did may be difficult to understand because he lived in a very different time and culture. But it is clear that he had courage and a passion for life.

It is said that he lived in the desert for a time to show that he could resist the temptations of power. Then he began to preach, perform miracles and heal the sick.

To the horror of the moralists, he sought out all kinds of unrighteous people and ate and drank with them. He tried to explain that God loves sinners as well as the righteous. So we must do the same and show respect to those who do not deserve it, especially our enemies. We must not treat our enemies as they treat us.

He warned against the religious pedants who fixate on unimportant things and impose heavy burdens on people. Why don’t you judge for yourselves what is right? he asked. All the commandments are based on the love of God and the golden rule.

He once amazed his disciples by washing their feet, showing that he who serves is greater than he who rules.

One day all people will have their lives evaluated, he said. Those who have been harsh and unforgiving towards others will then be measured by the same standard and find that they deserve a harsh and unforgiving punishment. On that day it will become clear that the most important thing is to care for those who are less fortunate, especially the poor.

What particularly angers God, he said, is when you call another person a fool.

It was hardly a life of comfort and prosperity that he offered his disciples when he called them. On the contrary, he said they could expect no rewards or favours. Nor can those who follow him expect to be in total control of their lives or to know where they are going. He said that they were participants in a great historical drama of which no one, not even he, had a complete overview.

Trust in the Heavenly Father was what he wanted to teach them. Only through me, he said, will you have such faith and such freedom. This is the way, the truth and the life.

These were the things this young man taught. Following in his footsteps means first of all learning not to hate and despise other people.

4. Manage Pleasant but Toxic Emotions

Taking Responsibility for Your Mistakes

Some have a very pessimistic view of man. They think that human beings are totally depraved and that they can never improve. A dark view of man makes the light of grace shine brighter, they believe.

But if man is a hopeless case, it is not his fault that he is the way he is. Then he is like an animal who cannot be held responsible for his actions.

By denying responsibility, sin is eliminated. A wrongly programmed robot has no need to ask for forgiveness. This is hardly what the Christian belief in grace is about.

Recognising your helplessness, powerlessness and inability is one thing. Recognising your sins is quite another. It is important not to confuse the two.

Suppose someone prays like this: ”Alas, I am a slave to my desires and cannot do right!” That is not a confession of sin. It is not a sin to be helpless. A helpless person should ask for help, not forgiveness.

The embarrassing thing is that we sometimes make mistakes when we are perfectly capable of doing the right thing. Often it is not difficult at all, and many times it is entirely our own fault. A prayer for forgiveness is only meaningful if you take responsibility for your mistakes.

Some people take the easy way out. Instead of admitting their mistakes (which can be quite painful), they admit their inability and powerlessness (which is often a pleasant exercise in self-pity).

We humans are created with the ability to develop good qualities such as reason and empathy. Paradoxically, this is what makes us sinners. The problem is that we don’t develop and use these abilities as much as we should. Or we use them in the wrong way.

A Dangerous Derailment

There are two traps to avoid. The first is to believe that you must be strong, virtuous and successful in order to be accepted and 'saved'. This is conditional love. It leads to stress and performance anxiety because you can never know if you are good enough.

The second trap is that you have to be weak, failed and generally miserable to be accepted. This is also conditional love. It frightens people into passivity and prevents them from growing and developing.

“Strength comes, strength wanes. God's love eternally remains” – that is true unconditional love!

For some, the gospel – the good news – is that God expects nothing of us human beings. Nothing good can come from us, so self-confidence is sinful pride. Trusting in God and using reason become two things that do not go together. Personal development becomes a dangerous thing.

Is this the worship of an unloving God? Isn't true love inspiring? Rather than being a source of stress, high expectations can be uplifting. Trust in God can be combined with healthy self-confidence.

What happens when people are frightened into passivity and do not dare to mature and develop? What is the consequence when faith is only about resting in a nice and cosy feeling? It feels liberating to avoid personal responsibility. It feels good to avoid repentance. It feels peaceful to rest in the pleasant illusion of being humble.

‘Cheap grace is grace without discipleship,’ Bonhoeffer told Lutherans in Germany in the 1930s. ‘Cheap grace is the mortal enemy of our church.’ To his horror, he saw how easy it was for the Nazis to manipulate them. Ignoring discipleship leaves us defenceless against evil.

The Serpent and The Grand Inquisitor

Man’s big problem is original sin: the pleasure of doing bad things. Typical examples are bullying, revenge fantasies, schadenfreude, mockery – and the intoxicating lust for power.

Evil acts are not perceived as evil because they are pleasurable. It is easy to like evil. Is there anyone who is completely free of it?

A cunning serpent whispers in your ear: ”All your pleasant feelings are good feelings!” He wants to convince us that this is not a problem at all. We are good just the way we are. We should affirm our inner nature and not pretend. ”What feels natural must be right,” it whispers. ”This is the same as being authentic and true to yourself!”

The Grand Inquisitor is a legend told in Dostoyevsky’s novel The Brothers Karamazov. It is about a meeting between Christ and an old inquisitor who organised the burning of heretics in Spain in the 16th century.

The inquisitor accused Christ of not listening to the ”wise and terrible spirit” he had met in the desert (i.e. the devil). He should not have resisted the temptations of power.

The evil spirit has a better understanding of human nature, the Inquisitor said. Voluntarily choosing good is beyond human capacity. People want to be told how to think and what to do.

This is the Grand Inquisitor’s theology: the Church must adapt the Christian faith to people’s weaknesses. A life of voluntary discipleship is too difficult for most people. What they need is bread, spectacle and authority. In her great compassion, the Church should lift the heavy burden of freedom and responsibility and give people what they want most: security.

Christ did not answer him with words, but gave him a kiss.

Returning To the Better Way

Instead of following the Grand Inquisitor, churches can choose to follow Christ and teach that evil should be countered by a life of discipleship. They can teach that God's love is a concern for the health of the soul. In this way, divine love takes on practical meaning here on earth.

The commandments and expectations can be uplifting, even if they are difficult. Grace can be combined with discipleship, and unconditional love with inspiration.

True fear of God is not a fear of punishment. Rather, it is a heightened sense of responsibility and the realisation that one can actually do wrong. This is the beginning of wisdom.

It is important to take responsibility for things you can actually control. You should be hard on yourself but soft on others (not the other way around!).

In order to be able to face the unpleasant, spiritual pain relief is needed. Trust in grace removes unhealthy stress and performance anxiety. Trust also reduces the need for defensiveness, excuses and self-pity. It gives you the courage to admit that you can be driven by pleasurable but toxic emotions.

“Evil pleasures” can include saying mean things because it is fun. Even feeling offended can become an evil pleasure. This provides an excuse to lash out in lustful anger.

The fascist has a pathological contempt for other peoples. The hot-tempered idealist despises other morally inferior people. Is one feeling more refined than the other? Or is it just the same lustful impulse to have someone to look down on?

For a Christian, the struggle against evil is primarily an inner struggle. Faith in grace makes it easier to learn to distinguish between good and bad feelings. And to deal with things that undermine compassion.

People turn to God for peace of mind and tranquillity of heart. Many want it to be as easy as pressing a button. They do not understand that they have to deal with inner chaos and create inner order.

To believe in God is to learn to be human.

5. Have the Courage to Admit Mistakes

The Importance of Good Judgement

Creating a picture of reality is a bit like doing a jigsaw puzzle. Those who lack good judgement can put anything together. The result is a distorted view of the world. To put the pieces together, you need the simple realisation that you can be wrong.

We live in a complicated world. Now, more than ever, we need to learn the art of constructing an accurate picture of reality.

Many people today want to work for a better future. This is a good thing! Unfortunately, it is common to combine good intentions with stubborn certainty. The risk is that things will only get worse. The overconfident idealists need to learn this. Good intentions are not enough. Practical wisdom is also a virtue.

In this complicated world, it is rarely possible to be absolutely certain about anything. What you can strive for is good judgement.

Like and Unlike

If you have a lack of patience, you can force the puzzle pieces into place. With some willpower you can create any picture you want. To really solve the puzzle, it is important to pay attention to the pieces that do not fit together.

In Plato’s dialogue Phaedrus, Socrates pointed out that it is a special art to be able both to ”cut up every phenomenon” and to ”see widely scattered phenomena with a comprehensive view”. Today we call this analysis and synthesis.

• Analysis: These things are similar, but they don’t really belong together.

• Synthesis: These things seem to be different, but in fact they go well together.

Socrates said: ”I myself am a lover of these things, Phaedrus: of divisions and combinations, which enable me both to speak and to think.”

It is important to be able to see differences between similar things and similarities between different things. Good judgement is about finding a balance between these ways of thinking.

Without analytical thinking, things can easily get out of hand. If you want to, you can connect almost anything. An example of this is conspiracy theories, which associate a certain group of people with all the misery in the world. In the same way, political ideologies can create images of enemies.

How to Become a Religious Know-It-All

In many religious contexts, synthesis dominates. There is a strong need for meaning, coherence and confirmation. Everything must fit together: the Bible, history, world events, everyday life. Critical analysis can be perceived as disrespecting the sacred.

Some people think that if everything doesn’t fit together, everything will fall apart. But what are the consequences of trying to harmonise and reconcile the diversity of the Bible at all costs?

Synthetic puzzles provide a sense of affirmation and are stimulating. Analysis can involve a painful questioning of one’s own beliefs. What happens when we follow the path of least resistance? Isn't there a danger that we will create a biblical puzzle coloured by our selfish interests and political values? And that we begin to imagine that God has the same views as we do?

The question is whether this appetite for synthesis has anything to do with real faith. With the help of imaginative associations, it is possible to see connections between all sorts of things and to convince oneself of almost anything. It is not at all difficult to become entangled in false insights.

Sometimes it can be good to take a step back and reflect on your own thinking. ”Now I think analytically.” ”Now I synthesise.” Some knowledge of philosophy can be healthy. Putting the puzzle together requires:

• Inner balance.
• Openness to the possibility of being wrong.
• The courage to live with some uncertainty.

Weak Ability to Believe – Stronger Trusting Faith

For Christians, there is a solution to this. It starts with recognising that your ability to believe is limited. It is impossible to make everything fit together.

We can rejoice when we read how Christ walked on water across the Sea of Galilee, or how he turned water into wine in Canaan. At the same time, it can be argued that human eyewitnesses are more likely to be mistaken than the laws of nature to be overturned.

Would our Creator be offended that we can't always reconcile the one with the other? After all, he is the creator of our reason, so surely he should understand that these things can baffle us.

A Christian may believe with all his heart but only half his mind. Instead of relying on one’s own ability to believe, one can trust God who sees and understands all our confusions. ”If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than our hearts, and that he understands everything”.

A little ”divine foolishness” can make us wiser. In weakness there is strength, said the Apostle Paul. A weak capacity to believe can mean greater trust. Many questions remain unanswered, but so what? Faith of the heart does not depend on understanding all the mysteries of Christianity.

Martin Luther wrote:

A New Point of Reference

The Christian faith can be compared to a Copernican revolution. It replaces the old egocentric worldview and puts the sun at the centre.

Reason can make mistakes and put things together that don’t belong together. Your political and religious beliefs can be based on fear and selfish desires. Total reliance on these things creates a self-centred worldview.

Those who turn their hearts to God instead have a new centre. Everything appears in a clearer light.

Faith Of the Heart Strengthens Reason

It is good to have insights and opinions about things. But you should not be too attached to them. Trust in grace is linked to openness to the possibility that you may be wrong. Your ideas may need to be corrected and improved. In this way, faith can become a driving force for truth and education.

To attach one's heart to God means not to fixate too much on one idea or the other. This gives you the important ability to hold two opposing ideas in your mind at the same time. It makes the great puzzle of life easier to solve, because it doesn't matter so much if your worldview is shaken from time to time. Trusting faith is reason's best friend.